Boundariesbeginner
The Weekend Texter
A colleague constantly messages you outside work hours expecting responses.
Practice this out loud, free
No account needed. We email you a link, then you talk by voice.
The situation
A colleague sends me Slack messages and texts on evenings and weekends, always framed as "quick questions." When I don't respond immediately, they follow up. I've hinted at boundaries but they laugh it off. I need to set a clear boundary.
Who you will be talking to: Limit-Testing Colleague
They'll be charming and may laugh it off or minimize what they're doing. Expect plausible deniability ("I was just joking"), social pressure, and testing whether you'll hold firm.
What tends to work
- Be direct about the boundary — charm shouldn't soften your "no"
- Don't explain or justify your boundary more than once
- Watch for them reframing your boundary as you being "difficult" or "uptight"
One way to open: “I need to be straightforward about something that's been happening, because I don't think hints are getting through.”
Say it out loud, then see what you said
Reading about a hard conversation is not the same as having it. You talk to an AI counterpart by voice, like a phone call, and afterwards get a scorecard that quotes your own words: what helped, and what to try next time.